Wednesday, May 29, 2013

To begin


Begginings are always tough to some people. Not being used to changes or being shy are the reasons most of the time. Last week I had my first day in college, and it was the beggining-awkwardness all over again. While everyone was already talking to each other, learning their names and stuff, I just sat in a corner and observed everyone, mostly creating nicknames to my colleagues (that they will never find out ha-ha-ha) and wondering if one of them would ever talk to me like they were doing to the others. They didn't. I guess I'm a tad like the Grumpy Cat, people never approach to talk to me, and I must end this image, human beings aren't supposed to be islands. Sometimes I talk to them, trying to learn their names yet (most of them I only remember by nicknames like the Bitchy Journalist - long story, and I'm not exactly being mean by calling her that).
Anyway: begginings. Always super awkward, always so full of anxiety like your first day in school, when your mommy waved goodbye and you entered the cute little classroom scared like you're a dead man walking. Begginings scare the hell out of me, but that's the time when I learn the most, when I get out of my comfort zone and actually have to deal with people, since I chose to do that for living when I picked Communications. You will always feel that weird thingy in your stomach, maybe some legs shaking and sweaty hands, but that's part of the process. An actor about to present the Oscars feels the same way, believe me, it's a natural human reaction! You just have to deal with it, suck it up and put an actor mask, "I am a super cool talkative person and not shy at all, I am going to face it and it's going to be natural and awesome" and there you go, talking to someone, avoiding to think if you're embarrassing yourself, because you're not, it's all just paranoia. That's how I'm handling all these new situations coming in my life, like getting a driver's license, or a passport, I just call my inner actress and she does all the embarrassing job for me!

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